Moving ahead but never moving on

One year. One year of silence. One year of memories where smiles turned to tears and tears turned to smiles. One year of never being able to forget a single day. One year of passing through the same street and reliving the same pain over and over again.

There are certain people who walk into your life and you know right then, it's never going to be the same after that very instant. Every instance that made you feel like that was a larger than life moment, will make you cry a million times. It's so strange how "at peace" one looks on the face, when there is a storm within. How one can try and try but never successfully bury any portion of this surreal past life.

For one, when you know that you can try your best but never fall out of being one spirit, every attempt you make to disengage is unfruitful. You can teach yourself to hate, a lesson that will never be learnt, a desperate albeit futile process.

I wish I did not remember. The dates, the incidences, the laughs, the jokes, the tears, the moments of complete and absolute silence, the moments of incessant laughter. I wish I could somehow let go, in the true sense of the word. I am never away from the surreal. I am never departed from it. I have never really gotten over it, and I don't think I ever will.

One year. One year of silence. One year of moving ahead but never being able to move on.