Wake up sunshine..may everything glow in the warmth of your presence..may every being be humbled by you..may smiles never cease..may there be eternal happines..let everything fun be a part of your life, let everything good happen to you. May success never elude you. Contentment be your chum forever. Peace be with you always!
Any hurt that you may ever feel be mine. All your pain mine. May all my happiness and peace be yours. You are what beauty is. You are the ideal definition of perfection. Mistakes..what do you know how to make them? Hurt..can you ever inflict that on anyone? Failure..do you even know what it means? Impossible..have you ever said that word? Nada..these words suggest negativity..and could you ever symbolize that?
You breathe life and energy, your smile lights up a crowd, your company..pure bliss..What more can I wish for you..what more can I bless you with..what more do I offer to you..but my meager share of fortunes. What more do I grant you..than all that could ever be mine.
Wake up sunshine..open your eyes and make everything beatiuful!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Ain't no mountain high enough
Defeat, failure..do these things just mean more to some people than others? Do they affect just some people adversely? I definitely think I am one of "those". Whether I blame (read thank) my mom for making me like this or my innate nature, I find that I suffer from this disease called "needing-to-be-on-the-top". I may sound pompous when I say this but it really is a disease. I have suffered from it since age 5. Nothing tastes/smells/feels better than success whether it's in career or in personal life. The ghosts of failed realtionhsips haunt me as badly as the ghosts of standing 3rd in class those 2 times in school. And I accept that being infected with this disease makes these things seem really big to me. I am never really at peace with either kind of failure even though I try to forget. Maybe it's because I never really forgive myself for those failures.
And as I write this blog, I am reminded of the words of a pal who is as dear to me as I am to me. He always wonders..why is it that I manage to pin point and pick myself on the things that I am worst at? Why can't I look at the sunny bright side and bask in glory of happy times? Why doesn't my unforgiving conscience smile at me ever and make me feel good about myself?
It isn't as bad as it sounds, I am a happy person. I just manage to shoot for stars so high up that it often makes me feel inadequate given that I don't enjoy the journey as much. But thankfully for me, success in my personal life far outweighs the failures and I am happy that I made some judgement calls. Call it destiny or karma but I am content. I am at peace. As far as career judgement calls go, I am just getting started. The stars are way higher than usual, the stakes are further high but I trust my gut that I'll get there. The only hope is when I do get there, I am content with the journey as much as I am with my personal life today. That, my friends will be the icing on the cake!
And as I write this blog, I am reminded of the words of a pal who is as dear to me as I am to me. He always wonders..why is it that I manage to pin point and pick myself on the things that I am worst at? Why can't I look at the sunny bright side and bask in glory of happy times? Why doesn't my unforgiving conscience smile at me ever and make me feel good about myself?
It isn't as bad as it sounds, I am a happy person. I just manage to shoot for stars so high up that it often makes me feel inadequate given that I don't enjoy the journey as much. But thankfully for me, success in my personal life far outweighs the failures and I am happy that I made some judgement calls. Call it destiny or karma but I am content. I am at peace. As far as career judgement calls go, I am just getting started. The stars are way higher than usual, the stakes are further high but I trust my gut that I'll get there. The only hope is when I do get there, I am content with the journey as much as I am with my personal life today. That, my friends will be the icing on the cake!
Friday, February 24, 2006
Turn back time
Desi is me. My ideas of fun, of amusement, of work, of moving ahead in life and career, of thought itself! They are so typically Indian. They say you can take the desi out of India but can you take India out of the desi? I scream from the top of my lungs..NO!! Coz no matter how much we try, we are so in love with everything that is Indian that we really don't like the idea of separating ourselves from "desi-ness" if I may. And I find that I appreciate, love and respect my homeland much more now that I have managed to put 10,000 miles between us. Strange isn't it? Everything good in life is like health..you never know it's value till you lose it.
And I beg to differ from people who manage to put the same kind of distance and "comment" on the sad state of India. I absolutely despise the "liberated-souls" who says things like.."Things like blah blah will never change in India". I have just one thing to say to them..."Good you are here..India can use some crap-elimination".
In my mind, I have such a sweet picture of home! And call me an ignorant fool and a dreamer but home..sigh, is filled with irreplacable memories..the pakoras and samosas with chai on a rainy afternoon, the power cuts leaving all of us singing at the top of our voices on the terrace, the bike rides, barrista coffee, star gazing on the porch, bollywood, the soaps where the bahus never stop crying and the saas' never stop torturing, mom's repeated calls for dinner in a desparate attempt to get the family together only to lose out badly on majority vote to watch TV while eating, ohh those were the days!
One of the biggest wars used to begin when there would be a cricket match and a filmfare award show airing together!! My dad would turn into a kid fighting for the remote. But dad that he was..he always won and we would drag our grumpy faces into our rooms..hmmmphh..dictatorship..but as we grew older, the tables turned..!!
And how I crave for one miracle to get back that time. The innocence in the pleas for that new dress, the joy on the arrival of that first barbie, the excitement to bits that birthdays were arriving, the goosebumps while hiding in a oh-so-visible spot while playing hide-n-seek, the naive hatred towards why-the-holy-smokies-did -my-parents-pick-this-name-for-me then growing to love it..Oh the nostalgia..Oh the desparate wish to get things back the way they were and enjoy them just once again..Oh the wonderful things that my country has given me, Oh my sweet home..Oh my sweet paradise.
And I beg to differ from people who manage to put the same kind of distance and "comment" on the sad state of India. I absolutely despise the "liberated-souls" who says things like.."Things like blah blah will never change in India". I have just one thing to say to them..."Good you are here..India can use some crap-elimination".
In my mind, I have such a sweet picture of home! And call me an ignorant fool and a dreamer but home..sigh, is filled with irreplacable memories..the pakoras and samosas with chai on a rainy afternoon, the power cuts leaving all of us singing at the top of our voices on the terrace, the bike rides, barrista coffee, star gazing on the porch, bollywood, the soaps where the bahus never stop crying and the saas' never stop torturing, mom's repeated calls for dinner in a desparate attempt to get the family together only to lose out badly on majority vote to watch TV while eating, ohh those were the days!
One of the biggest wars used to begin when there would be a cricket match and a filmfare award show airing together!! My dad would turn into a kid fighting for the remote. But dad that he was..he always won and we would drag our grumpy faces into our rooms..hmmmphh..dictatorship..but as we grew older, the tables turned..!!
And how I crave for one miracle to get back that time. The innocence in the pleas for that new dress, the joy on the arrival of that first barbie, the excitement to bits that birthdays were arriving, the goosebumps while hiding in a oh-so-visible spot while playing hide-n-seek, the naive hatred towards why-the-holy-smokies-did -my-parents-pick-this-name-for-me then growing to love it..Oh the nostalgia..Oh the desparate wish to get things back the way they were and enjoy them just once again..Oh the wonderful things that my country has given me, Oh my sweet home..Oh my sweet paradise.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Run Boy Run...
Speed..a rush to get someplace..an urgency to reach that milestone..devours me. Kills the joy of the journey, and the process itself. Someone very dear once told me, "The destination is really not worth it, if you don't enjoy the journey." I try to live by this train of thought. And when I say I try, I mean REALLY try because no matter how much I attempt, my mind gets distracted by speed, by the urge to get things done. Seldom do I stop to savor the fun involved on the way. So as I begin another rushed journey desperate to plant milestones after milestones, I am stopping myself to look at the time past my previous milestone and smile.
Smile...one thing (yet another thing) I hate about growing up is that we don't really smile so much anymore. We are so involved with our TODOs, have become so overworked that we don't push those facial muscles far enough. I so rarely have those crazy moments where I am laughing my guts out just for the heck of it. And isn't growing up the strangest thing? When I was young(er) :D, I was such a rebel. I always wished I was left to manage my life and make my own decisions. All my teenage life, I wanted just that extra pinch of freedom!! Self-sustained and independent, I called it. Today, I complain I have too many responsibilities. Too many things to take care of. Maybe we should all be given a sneek peek of our adult life when we were growing up. Another one in my list of things I'd want God to consider when He thinks about "upgrading" human race.
In my view, the benefits of the sneek peek are two-fold :D - 1. It helps us love and enjoy that "growing-up" phase much better. 2. It warns us before-hand not to run through life so fast. To smell the roses, to relish the summer morning, to know the joy in seeing a baby smile. I begin every single day, asking myself not to run..and yet I run, join the almost purposeless race towards yet another deadline, yet another "victory".
Smile...one thing (yet another thing) I hate about growing up is that we don't really smile so much anymore. We are so involved with our TODOs, have become so overworked that we don't push those facial muscles far enough. I so rarely have those crazy moments where I am laughing my guts out just for the heck of it. And isn't growing up the strangest thing? When I was young(er) :D, I was such a rebel. I always wished I was left to manage my life and make my own decisions. All my teenage life, I wanted just that extra pinch of freedom!! Self-sustained and independent, I called it. Today, I complain I have too many responsibilities. Too many things to take care of. Maybe we should all be given a sneek peek of our adult life when we were growing up. Another one in my list of things I'd want God to consider when He thinks about "upgrading" human race.
In my view, the benefits of the sneek peek are two-fold :D - 1. It helps us love and enjoy that "growing-up" phase much better. 2. It warns us before-hand not to run through life so fast. To smell the roses, to relish the summer morning, to know the joy in seeing a baby smile. I begin every single day, asking myself not to run..and yet I run, join the almost purposeless race towards yet another deadline, yet another "victory".
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