Permanence

I was speaking with an old friend of mine when I realised how far away we had drifted. We have different lives now, different aspirations, different views. Our priorities had changed, we didnt sync in the way we did once, and all there was, was this conversation. We didn't have those "exactly my thought!!" kinda moments, all we were doing was listening to each other and nodding, sympathizing with each other..then having that uncomfortable silence where someone says.."so what else is going on?" which exactly goes to show how much apart we had become. We then hung up saying we will keep in touch and keep each other posted. A promise that we both knew would never be kept.

That's when I got to thinking...what is permanence really? What in our life is ever-lasting? Our friends, people who we spend a wonderful part of our life with, people who share our deepest pain, people with whom we want to share any good news first..move away, become different people and the only time we feel the faint sense of rememberance is when we speak of our days together. Days when life was simpler. More beautiful and more complete.

So if everything in life is meant to be perishable, has a "sell-by" date attached to it, then why do we even bother investing in these relationships? Why don't we say.."Aaah, I know I won't even bother taking his/her calls at a later point of time.." and forget it? Maybe because when we start out on any relationship, we believe that we are going to give our 100%. Why do we make this silent promise to ourselves? Many reasons - to make up for a past broken relaitonship, to feel good about ourselves, or simply because we feel a conneciton with the person.

So when at a later point in time, we find ourselves "catching" up with this friend's life, we think of the good times, the times where being with that person made us happy and going down that memory lane does nothing but leave a desperate craving to live that exact moment, feel that very emotion yet once again..knowing fully well that that's not gonna happen..we do not get second chances on the tick-tock of life..and then we let out that infamous "sigh"..a realization that no matter what we do, all that is left of this relationship is a broken thread..that it is never going to look the same again smooth and flowing as it used to be...but bumpy and artificially fixed like knots on the thread.