I don't feel a hundred percent today. He is not well. He reminds me of all the good times we shared. He is forever doting and extremely possessive. I remember him being a choosy eater. Since he walked into my life, it has never been the same. He is indeed an irreplaceable part of me.
My heart skips a beat when the telephone rings these days. I am worried that its going to be news I don't want to hear. I refuse to accept the fact that he is probably not going to feel any better any time soon. I think of him all day, all night. I shudder to think that he has not been eating, that he is in a lot of pain but unable to say it.
Pepsi became part of our family 13 years ago. I remember picking him up as a little bundle and hugging him tight as he wondered what was it that was taking him away from his biological mother. He whined all of that autumn September night. None of us slept either. The next morning, he seemed to feel much more at home and has been ever since.
Today, 13 years later, he knows the smell of me, even though I have been away from him 7 of those 13 years. He knows that I was one of the 2 pesky people who nagged him no end so he learned how to bring forth his paw and shake it. Pepsi has always inherently been a scared dog (even though he did everything in his power not to make that obvious, barking incessantly for one). If he could read, he would hate me for writing this and letting the cat, ahem dog out of the bag. He masks his fear by displaying rage.
He is as picky with his food as a teenage girl. He wont eat bread as it is, unless it has a hint of egg on it. He would rather that you let go of all the food in your hand than making him feel like a dog begging for it. Oh, he has ego, that mutt. He has always been obsessively possessive of my father. He pretends to like us all equally but I know what goes in the mind of that fly-fighter. He could forget the world if my dad was around.
A piece of me seems to be going farther and farther away. I wish I could have hugged him longer before I said bye the last time over. I wish I took more pictures. I wish I got one do-over at all these things.
